When Should You Stage an Intervention?

By Lori Wilkerson Hilliard

Although interventions are usually thought of as a way to reach someone with a drug addiction, they can be effective for alcohol problems, eating disorders, gambling addictions and even for loved ones who have mental disorders that are disrupting their lives.

Regardless of the reason, the goal of any intervention remains the same: to get the person into a rehabilitation center or treatment center as quickly as possible.

Delaying an Intervention can be Disastrous

Many families wait far too long to do an intervention, rationalizing that their loved one hasn’t "hit rock bottom." Others may be afraid that the person with the addiction will become so angry that they will cut off all ties rather than go into treatment.

Neither of these are good reasons to put off organizing an intervention for your loved one. In fact, the longer you wait to stage an intervention, the more difficult it will be for the person with the problem.

Waiting until they have been in the clutches of a complete addiction -- or waiting until they are having a full-blown psychiatric episode because they have long since ceased treatment for mental illness -- will make it much more difficult for them to acknowledge the problem, because they may have ceased to think rationally and may not have the capacity to fully understand the magnitude of the problem.

Avoiding an intervention out of fear that the person will become angry with you is quite common. Unfortunately, this fear of confronting the problem is a major stumbling block for many families -- yet ignoring or evading the problem only makes it worse. By trying to avoid a confrontation, you are actually enabling the continued unhealthy behavior, which reinforces the addition or disorder and lessens the likelihood that the person will get necessary treatment.

Some people admit that they don’t feel an intervention will work because they think the addict has to want the help on their own. The reality of addiction is that most addicts don’t have the capacity to understand how their behaviors are affecting themselves or those around them. Because they are so wrapped up in the addictive behavior, they are blind to how damaging their lifestyle is. In this situation, they can’t desire help because they are blind to the problem.

An intervention can open their eyes, helping them to clearly see the impact of their addiction.

Stage the Intervention Sooner Rather Than Later

Simply put, the best time for an intervention is the earliest time you can get your family members and friends together for an organized intervention.

In most cases, it’s best to consult a health care professional who is familiar with the addiction in question. They can guide you in planning the intervention and will be there to keep the lines of communication open, since most people who are confronted in an intervention will become defensive or angry.

If you delay an intervention, hoping that the addict will hit rock bottom and realize themselves that they need help, you risk destroying other lives in the process. Most addicts don’t realize they have a problem until they’ve been in a serious accident or done something tragic, hurting others in the process. That kind of guilt makes treatment much more difficult.

An early intervention can help you're loved on avoid that kind of pain, and possibly even save the lives of others.

What If the Person Doesn’t Accept Help During an Intervention?

If, after a carefully planned and properly handled intervention, your loved one won’t admit there is a problem and refuses treatment, there must be consequences. In fact, part of every good intervention is knowing in advance how each person in the process will respond if the addict refuses help.

Once the person refuses treatment, every member of the intervention team must stick by whatever consequences they outlined to the addict. For instance, a grandfather who is an addict may be told that he can no longer see his grandchildren until he has enrolled in a treatment program. A parent may tell their college age daughter that she has to move out and that tuition will no longer be paid. Lack of any financial assistance can also be a motivating factor for addicts who need help surviving.

The important thing to keep in mind is that you must not make idle threats without a background message of support. Explaining that an alcoholic parent won’t be able to see his grandchildren isn’t effective unless you also indicate that you know they can successfully overcome their addiction. You should also make sure they know that you will be supporting them through every step of their treatment.

Are There Risks to Doing an Intervention?

Sadly, some individuals will refuse to accept the evidence you present at an intervention. They may refuse to listen as you outline the financial, emotional and physical damage they have done, or they may deny that they are the source of the problem.

If this happens, there is little you can do. If they storm out of the room or leave the area, you need to let them go. Physically restraining them will only escalate the situation and could do irreparable harm to what remains of the bond of trust that they have with you.

If someone refuses help at an intervention, it is crucial that you not enable the behavior by going back on any promises of action you made during the process.

For example, if you said you would not let them into your house, you must refuse to let them back into your house until they agree to treatment. Promises are not enough. The promises made by addicts are usually made out of desperation and rarely result in positive action. Unless and until they actually enter a treatment program, you must stand behind your word.

Most interventions have a positive outcome. The individual, while understandably upset, is able to admit they have a problem and will agree to begin treatment.

The combination of hearing concrete examples of their problem, being surrounded by loved ones, fearing future consequences and receiving the clear input of a rehabilitation specialist is a powerful tool that’s often the first step toward long-term recovery.